Monday, April 25, 2011

Rainy and Sunny Days of My Life.


We had an absolutely gorgeous sunny day on Saturday, and now for the entire week until next Saturday, the forecast is rain. Typical Seattle.

Personally, I don't mind rain. Neither does Daniel. We kind of like looking at it outside our bay window - it gives trees many different shades of green, more so than a washed-out sunny day.

The only drawback is that rain hurts. On a day like this, I'm reminded how much fibromyalgia can hurt. I'm not sure if it's due to the low air pressure or the wetness or the temperature (or combination of all three), but a cold rainy day tends to hurt like hell. I feel like I went to some masochistic boot camp and did a day-long circuit training in the mud yesterday, subsequently beaten with a stick at a Zen temple, after being a couch potato for 20 years. My whole body is sore from head to toe, resulting in walking gingerly to protect the bottom of my feet.

There is a silver lining to all this, however. My noticing this pain means that I don't hurt like this all the time. I used to wake up feeling like this almost everyday, and that's not the case anymore. My pain is more localized and manageable much of the time without heavy drugs. Now that's progress.

Like the many shades of green we can see in the rain, today I can see many shades of pain. On some sunny (or adrenaline-laced) days, the shades of pain are washed out and less visible. But it weren't for the rainy days, we wouldn't know how great sunny days are, would we?

So I'm thankful, on this rainy day, for the sunny and rainy days of my life.

-A

二日前の土曜日は快晴、素晴らしく青い空でしたが、
今週は土曜日までずっと雨の予報です。さすがシアトル。

個人的には、雨は嫌いではありません。ダニエルも然り。
出窓の側に座り、外の雨を眺めるのが好きです。
色が全て一段明るくなり褪せてしまう晴れの日よりも、
雨の日は微妙に異なる、木々の様々な緑色が見えます。

雨の困るところは、体が痛くなること。
こんな日は、線維筋痛症がどれだけ痛いか思い知らされます。

低気圧のせいなのか、湿気のせいなのか、低い気温のせいなのか、
それともそれらが全部相まってのことなのか分かりませんが、
寒い雨の日はとんでもなく痛いです。どんな感じかというと、
20年くらい運動不足でいた後に、足をとられる泥の中で
ビリーズブートキャンプ(←古い)に参加し、
筋肉痛になった後、禅寺に行ってバシバシ叩かれた・・・
という非常にマゾなイメージです(笑)。

文字通り頭から爪先まで痛いので、
こんな日は足の裏もかばって、
カーペットの上もそろそろ〜っと歩きます。

でもこんな状況にも、希望の光はあります!
というのは、今日はすごく痛い日、と特定できるということは、
他の日はこれほど痛くないということだからです。

以前は、毎日のように起きるとこんな感じでした。
でも今は、強い薬を飲むこともなく、
痛みももっと部分的でなんとかなる。
これは大変な進歩です。

雨が降っていると色々な明るさの緑が見えるように、
今日はいろいろな種類の痛さを感じます。
晴れている日やアドレナリン・ドーパミンが
たくさん出ている日には、痛みはは色褪せて見えない。
でも雨の日がなかったら、晴れの日もありがたく感じませんよね。
すごく前より良くなっていることに気付かなかったかも。

だから今日こんな雨の日は、晴れの日、そして雨の日も、
ありがたいんだなあ、と思うのです。

-英

7 comments:

sparkofhope said...

Reading this made me smile. I'll definitely start appreciating my sunny and rainy days more.

I hope the pain lessens, but I'm glad to see that you can still pick out the positive in that. My best wishes to you, Aya-san!

Aya said...

Thank you for your kind comment :) Today is one such rainy day again. Now being fall, there are shades of green, red, and yellow this time outside our window. So lucky to live in this beautiful city!

sparkofhope said...

You're welcome! And I hope you aren't hurting as much this time.

That's sound really beautiful indeed. It's supposed to be fall here, but the weather keeps changing. One week it's really hot, the next it's freezing. Sadly, there aren't that many pretty colors here, but I still like it here. I'm pretty bad with the cold, so there being warmer days are good too, so I guess I shouldn't complain :D

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Little Rose Red said...

Did you take that photo? Its beautiful. :)
I live in Washington too, and I don't mind the rain either. It can be really cozy. :)
Have a lovely day!

David James said...
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David James said...
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